March 12th, 2010

I am in a funk. I have been in one all week. I am finding people annoying. I am not sure if it is the dark weather, the upcoming third chemo treatment, or what. It probably is a combination of things.

Today is Noah's birthday (my middle child) and he is in Ketchikan for a middle school band fest. I would like him home for his birthday. I miss my kids when they are not around.

I am not looking forward to my third chemo treatment. Chemo is my current best friend and I need to keep a good attitude about that. Chemo will help me live longer. I love chemo, I love chemo, I love chemo. I need to say that a few more times during the weekend so I can feel some thankfulness about leaving my family (again) to go get my medicine.

I am looking forward to spending some quiet time at the hotel. I love laying in bed and watching TV. I consider that to be very decadent behavior. I can watch 'girl' things and no one will complain. There, I feel better already; focusing on fun things.

A friend of mine (thanks Kelly) sent me a gift certificate to Nordstrom. I am also looking forward to heading to their downtown department store and spending it. Maybe some new jammies?

After my two days of chemo I am flying further south to Palm Desert, Ca. I am looking forward to some time in the sun, a pedicure, and maybe a new haircut. I also get to spend time with my Dad. We can commiserate together the effects of chemo on our bodies.

I am tired tonight. I will take a long shower, drink some tea, and find a good book to read.

Thanks for reading.

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Yummy, I just finished a big bowl of bananas and plain yogurt. I am joking about the 'yummy'. I never thought I would eat plain yogurt but chemo is starting to wreck havoc with my body and I need to compensate. In this case I am trying to rid myself of a yeast infection that has been bothering me for most of a month. I googled 'yeast infections and chemotherapy' and up popped several articles discussing the connection of the two things. I read on a health web site that plain yogurt full of probiotic cultures is a natural way to fight a yeast infection. As I told a few friends yesterday I have been eating plain yogurt like I own stock in the companies. And, I am happy to report that it seems to be working. I know I can get some over-the-counter medicine but I really want to limit the amount of chemicals in my body. Another benefit of eating yogurt is that I am actually starting to like yogurt without any added flavor-go figure.

I also have been dealing with over-dry lips. My mouth, nose, and eyes are not dry but my lips get so dry they burn. I tried different kinds of lip balm but nothing helped. Then I read an article about farmers in northern Minnesota-this is not a joke I am totally serious- using Bag Balm on the udders of their cows (in winter) to keep everything moist and soft. I thought 'Hey, maybe that will work for my lips!'. And, I am happy to report, it works. The first week after chemo I was waking up three times a night to burning lips. Now, I get up only once to put water and then Bag Balm or Vasaline on my lips. I discovered if I put water on my lips first and then the ointment my lips stay moist longer. I have to put Bag Balm on several times during the day. I see people looking at my mouth in a funny kind of way but it is better than the pain I was experiencing.

I made scones this weekend using Agave syrup and whole wheat flour. I also added raisins and pecans. I thought they were good but my 10 year old made up a small bowl of powered sugar and milk and then poured some over his scone. I am trying to get everyone to eat healthier but some of the family are coming along kicking and screaming.

thanks for reading.

March 4, 2010

2 Salmon oil tablets, 3 Enzyme tablets, 1 daily vitamin, 2 glucosamine tablets, 4 calcium + magnesium tablets, 1 iron tablet, 1 cholesterol tablet, and one weekly vitamin D tablet. This is my daily regiment. It doesn't include the every 4 hours anti-nausea tablet I take when I am going through my chemo regiment. Yuck. I remember the days when I didn't take any pills except for an occasional Tylenol. Now, between age and cancer, I have a list of pills to put into my body. I am sure there are a few more vitamins I could be taking but pill swallowing is not a strength of mine. I started out with motivation a month ago by putting all my pills into a weekly pill box. Then I went through my second chemo treatment and the last thing I wanted to do was put anything else into my system. Even thinking of swallowing pills made me nauseas. The other day I had a friend of mine, who is also a public health nurse, mention that salmon oil is an anti-inflammatory agent; those of us with cancer understand the importance of anything that is anti-inflammatory. Anti-inflammatory agents are a very good thing indeed in the fight against cancer. So I thought it was time to get back into taking all my pills. I started yesterday and am hoping for the best. I may have to stop again when I go through my next round of chemo but I don't want to wait so long to get back into the routine.

Yesterday I left work early because I wasn't feeling well. I thought I might be coming down with something. This is a scary thought since chemo wipes out my white blood cell count and my body would have a more difficult time fighting off infections/germs. I took a few Tylenol and spent the evening laying in bed watching a movie. This morning I woke up feeling fine. That was a relief. I worry about missing too much work and maybe not being able to get to my next chemo on time.

It is Thursday evening and I am looking forward to the weekend. I am going to try some sugar-free baked goods this weekend. We have blueberries left from this past summer so I will try some blueberry muffins.

thanks for reading

March 01, 2010

I am feeling good. I started feeling better last Thursday so it takes about a week for the chemo to work its way through my system and then start to dissapate. I am still ready for bed by 8pm but I feel better during the day. I am able to eat again without feeling overfull with only a few bites.

I had another Lymphic massage this past weekend and this time it did not make me sick. I made sure to drink plenty of fluids after the massage and I think this helped to work out any left over chemo effects. I love massage. The one bad thing about massage is that it has to end sometime.

In December of last year I joined a couple of Lymphoma websites. One site has daily email messages with people writing in on different subjects of Lymphoma, treatments, and life in general. One note was from a father who was writing to ask for help with his son. The son is 40 and just found that that his Lymphoma has returned. He was only in remission for 14 months. I have read the statistics and this is not unusual. It makes me think of my own someday remission and how long it will last. We all pray for a long remission and many people go years without a resurge of their cancer. What will happen to me? It would be easy to focus on the negative and wonder if I will be alive for my youngest son's high school graduation. It takes the same amount of energy to be positive and to picture myself holding my grandchildren. I vote on being positive. I usually do this very well. Sometime when I am driving by myself my eyes tear up and I get a bit overwhelmed. I tell my self to 'suck it up and think of something happy'. I have lots of things in my life that make me happy so thinking of something good is easy.
I have noticed that the more I exercise the more I stay positive; yeah for endorphins.

Many people have told me that I am looking good. I believe them. I have all of my hair, my skin color is good, and I feel good (for the most part). Thanks for all of your support.